If you want to stir up a hornet’s nest of controversy, bring up the topic of what you want to have for your grave headstone. Everyone has an opinion on this one. It begs the question of who is the grave marker for, what are you trying to say, and just who, after all, is going to have the final say after you die.
First of all, are you going to be buried? This might be a moot point if you are cremated. You can have your ashes buried, but the marker might be different if you are put in a mausoleum or buried in a columbarium.
If you visit a cemetery today, you will sometimes find the rules favoring the people that have to maintain and mow the grass. Markers, the flat stone or metal memorial, have replaced granite statues and upright structures. They are less expensive also.
The headstone has been a focal point for taking advantage of grieving people in the past. This is a vulnerable time for the family of the deceased. How can you demean the life of your loved one by not spending the money to honor them with a stone that will last forever and be engraved with a high quality memorial that the family can be proud of?
This sentiment can run up against the members of the family that are concerned more about the environment and the lasting impact of taking up space and materials that are in short supply, costly, and use resources to maintain for years to come. Who will come to visit the headstone when you live so far away? We can remember you in our own way without the headstone.
Planning ahead will give you a chance to at least have your views be heard.